I have decided to take a small plunge and begin a friendship with someone who I think is very nice and could possibly be a great mate. The issue is that I have such a hard time controlling my feelings and emotions. I mean, I honestly just want friends right now, especially since I have just gotten out of a 3 year relationship. I want some time to really re-organize my thoughts and get myself together emotionally. On the other hand, it is very, very lonely being single. I have my mom and bro but they can only do so much to get me out of the funk I sometimes put myself in. I enjoy the company of a woman and she is great company. When I am with her, I get so flustered, butterflies are always in my stomach. I want to say the right things, do the right things. Make her think I am the greatest person to be around. That is how she makes me feel. Like she is greatest person around. But I face reality everytime; she is just a friend. Nothing more. We are enjoying each others company under a safe umbrella known as friendship. So what can be done? Do I say the hell with it and continue with what we are doing but instead, call it dating? A relationship seems so far away for me but in a way, it is where I have been most comfortable...for a while at least. It was where I could use all those emotions I had on someone other myself. Right now, all the feelings that I have are just hitting a brick wall and bouncing back to me. Oh well, maybe the best thing to do would be to channel all this into something positive. Like what?
Peace,
Char
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