something i realized

today i realized that i am worth much more than i give myself credit for. i'm pretty talented and i dont look half bad either. :) i really want more out of life but how do i get to it? i want to lose weight but i love food oh....so.....much. i want to get back into school but i dont have the will power to just make the first few steps. do i secretly want to fail so i can always feel sorry for myself. my old lady is telling me i can do whatever i put my mind to but how do i first get my mind into it? one step at a time is my advice to everyone i meet with a problem but where is my first step? why am i so scared of my first step? overcoming laziness is my first step. wish me luck.


until next time,

why?

so today i have realized that i take a lot of stuff and wonder later on, why? i need to just rid myself of things i feel are harmful but i sometimes feel like i enjoy the pleasure of pain. i use to pride myself on being drama free but i think i am the main source of it. what will it take for me to really grow up and realize that some things are just not for me. realize my true self and allow other people to realize it as well? i need something new right now but i honestly dont know what it is at the moment. maybe a weekend off of work will inspire me. or maybe a nice cold beer will do the trick. whatever it is, it needs to be realized quickly or else my mind will forever be clouded with what ifs and should haves.


until next time.....